在一篇平庸的文章：I developed a new compassion for the disabled.
在一篇较好的文章：Whenever I had the chance to help the disabled, I did so happily.
在一篇优秀的文章：The next time Ms. Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I smiled and immediately took her arm.
第一个例子没提供细节，第二个例子仍只是假设，但是最后一个例子却能使人想起一个真正发生过的生动场面，因此使读者置于申请人的经历之中。
不要过于口语化
俚语，陈腐用语，缩略词，以及过分随便的语气等，除了最非正式的文章，都不应该使用。
下面这个选段可作为大学作文四个犯忌的例子：
You are probably wondering, what are the political issues that make this kid really mad? Well, I get steamed when I hear about my friends throwing away their right to vote. Voting is part of what makes this country great. Some people believe that their vote doesn’t count. Well, I think they’re wrong.
在类似这样的文章里，如果你要证明你对事物的态度是认真的，那么你的语言本身也应该严肃认真。只有那些非传统的文章，例如那些以叙事体或对话形式写的文章，才应该依靠口语体的表达方式。只有你有意识地要取得能传达自己的意思的效果时你才用非正式的文体写。
不要老是重复“I”作为句子的开头。
文章的第一稿有许多非常典型的句子类型，例如，“I + 动词 + 宾语”（I play soccer.）。要是在一篇文章里这样的简单结构用得太多，那么会产生两种效果：其一，你的语言显得肤浅简单；其二，在人家看来你非常高傲 ? 试想一下，你和某人谈话，而她总是谈论自己。这儿有个技巧，那就是改变用词而不改变意思。例如：
修改前： I started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult pieces. I learned about the effort needed to improve myself. I began to love music.
修改后： I started playing the piano at the age of eight. From the beginning, I worked hard to learn difficult pieces, and this struggle taught me the effort needed for self-improvement. My work with the piano nourished my love for music.