结尾观点明白，不罗嗦。只是第二段对它的支持不够。
Remark: Generally fluent and is able to use idiomatic English in most situations. However, there is a major flaw in presenting argument and making it coherent. The result is lack of conviction on the part of the reader as where the writer stands on the issue. 就作者的英文水平来说，得6段应该没有问题。但就此文的论点、论据的效果来说，得5段也是有可能的。 essay by zhangdan@public.gb.com.cn